Accountability

We all need to be held accountable to our actions. Accountability is something we hold ourselves and others to for trust. If you told someone that you were going to do something like help them with a project and you don’t help them you lowered your accountability, or trust.

Likewise, with our kids, we need to hold them accountable for their actions. Did they hit a sibling? They need to be held accountable. Did they do what they were supposed to do? They need to be held accountable. When we hold them accountable while they are young, we can trust them more when they are older.

With kids, we need to explain the “why” behind accountability. As they get older we can get deeper but simply, accountability is how us as parents can give them more freedom. When we know they will be accountable for their actions we can trust them they will make the right decision. When they make the wrong decision we need them to understand what went wrong and how to fix it.

Here is a real life example. When I was 6 or so my mom sent me to my room for misbehaving. I had a bit of temper when I was younger and have since mellowed out a bit. But I was so mad I slammed my door into my wall and put the door knob through the drywall. OOPS! That was a big mistake.

My dad held me accountable for it and taught me a lesson I would never forget. He had me open up my piggy bank and take the cash out. We went to the local box hardware store and bought some plaster and mesh. He looked at me saying, “You’re paying for this. You put the hole in the wall not me” so I handed the cashier the money. He showed me how to pack the newspaper in the back and put the plaster over the wall. We waited for it to dry and sand it smooth then paint when it was ready.

Finding a solution is the key. For me it was about fixing my mistake and the take away message. I never slammed a door into a wall again.

When we give our kids accountability we need to hold them to their actions both positive and negative. For younger kids, praise for actions they do correctly. This is positive reinforcement. For older kids, talk about and get their thoughts. Communication is key. Keep at it and be consistent.