5 Ways to Connect with Children

Being an adult and connecting with kids can be difficult. We have different views on the world. We have different vocabularies to express ourselves. We might be a little jaded or conceited with our outlook. But be assured, you can connect with children by using these tips.

Look them in the eye at eye level

When you talk to a kid, usually they are shorter than you. To them, you are imposing and a giant. Imagine if you had someone talking to you who was twice your height, I bet you’d be a bit intimated too. So kneel down, and talk to them at eye level. This is helpful to them as you become smaller and less intimidating. By lowering yourself to their level you can try to get them to open up and you can get closer so they don’t have to yell or shout to get to your ear. Lean in, give some encouragement, and listen.

Be constructive during conversations

Grab some crayons. Grab some paper. Draw. This task will help them to open up to you and keep their mind off the topic at hand. Kids will shut down if they feel threatened even during the most benign conversations. By drawing or coloring the talking will be second fiddle and since they don’t have to look at you in eye they are more apt to open up.

Take a walk together

Similarly, if you have slightly older kids but still in grade school, you can take a walk with them. The activity lends itself to open and honest conversations. Let’s be real, who walks with someone and is quiet the whole time. *Awkwarddddddd* By enjoying the walk with them you can have strong conversations and it doesn’t feel like a kitchen table lecture.

Express feelings

When we want someone to express their feelings, we need to open up first. If we show vulnerability the child will reflect what we model. So if you see a child struggling or is upset we can open up by what we feel and they will be able to do the same.

Give back scratches

Lastly, while lounging, scratch your child back and talk to them. Usually it would feel good and you can talk to them about their day or if something is troubling them. The physical touch will help easy them as well as the relaxing feeling of a back scratch. As humans we crave physical touch and by giving a back scratch the child will be more willing to talk and be open even if not in the immediate moment.

These are not fool proof ways of communicating or talking but it gives you some idea on what to do if you’re struggling to connect with your children. I do not have scientific evidence, just the power of trial and error with a splash of educational background. Take them with a grain of salt, but try them. They more you work on connecting and communicating, the more effective you’ll be as time goes on.

If you have more to share add them in the comments below! I’d love to hear about them and expand on these.